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Amazon – The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck

GoodReads – The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck

Author – Mark Manson

In this generation-defining self-help guide, a superstar blogger cuts through the crap to show us how to stop trying to be “positive” all the time so that we can truly become better, happier people. – Goodreads Synopsis

This one has been at the top of the charts for a while, and after it has been recommended to me multiple times, I thought what the hell. I’m not one much for “self-help” books, (Maybe that’s why I have so many problems…) but this one promises to be different from all the rest. I secretly thought that most books like this were just a scam trying to make a quick buck by telling you to just be happy. This one is a bit different (You can tell by the title alone), and that is because it knows the target audience – Millennials. (Scary OoOoOoOo)

Millennial has been tossed around in the media and from everyone else that is not a 1101130520_600“Millennial” and usually it is associated with a negative connotation. The word “entitled” is always used in conjunction with Millennial as well. Mark Manson also knows this, and speaks in depth about this feeling of entitlement. What really stuck out to me was how Mark explains that there are actually two ways to channel that entitlement. There is the first way that everyone knows: that you deserve something more because of who you are/what you’ve done, and the second way: that because when you make yourself a victim out of a negative experience in your past, you are also expecting different treatment. Now that seems obvious to understand, I just never thought about how victimizing yourself is also a form of entitlement. There in lies the true power of the “self-help” books – changing your perspective.

Ok… So I am entitled. What now?

Now the main body of the book starts to come into play. Sure we feel that this hard work thumbnail_largewe have done deserves something special – I work harder than everyone else in the office, I accomplish more, and I need that promotion now! Where the fuck is it?! Maybe the problem is that you are channeling all of your “fucks” into something that is not going to end up paying dividends later on. Mark tells us that we need to take a step back from caring 110% (and getting 110% emotional) about everything and pick what is really going to matter to us in the long run. Ask yourself: Why I am giving a fuck about this so much. Why is this so important to me. Why are my emotions going totally fucking berserk over this. As it turns out, if you ask yourself why enough times, you might end up getting to the root of the problem and fixing your self-entitlement on the way. So stop fucking crying and figure out what really matters to you.

I am focusing on being happy! Where is my progress?

Nope. Mark wants you to actively seek out the negative experiences instead of the positive ones. (But this goes against all of the other self-help books!) Why would we want to be OK with negative experiences? Because that is how we grow. We learn the most, and grow the most, from all of the negative experiences in our lives. Mark understands this and makes an attempt to reach us through his own personal journey. Maybe we should have just listened to Alfred all those years ago:

Bruce Wayne: What have I done, Alfred? Everything my family… my father built…

Alfred Pennyworth: The Wayne legacy is more than bricks and mortar, sir.

Bruce Wayne: I wanted to save Gotham. I failed.

Alfred Pennyworth: Why do we fall sir? So that we can learn to pick ourselves up.

Bruce Wayne: You still haven’t given up on me?

Alfred Pennyworth: Never.

It starts to get a little Buddhist, but we need to learn to accept the negative experiences that have come before, and that will come in the future. It is what will make us a better, and stronger, person.  Stop giving a fuck about trying to be happy all of the time.

My Takeaway

I’ve been going through some “Millennial” shit recently and I didn’t even know it. The main thing that has been irking me is my work life. I work too hard, I care too much, and I am too ambitious. All of that boils up to one great big pot of entitlement. Aside from the entitlement, I also feel empty. I feel that I am kicking ass all day, giving the world all it’s worth, using the most energetic years of my life, but for what? So some other entitled prick can benefit (or baby-boomer who crashed the houseing market and destroyed the environment)? Take a look at the chart below (shout-out to Kyle for showing me this) –



Ikigai: The Japanese concept that means “a reason for being.” Hmm ok then. So where do we see ourselves here? I am smack in the middle Good/Paid For/Need, AKA – “Comfortable, but feeling of emptiness”. Yes I am good at what I do, Yes I get paid a decent amount for it, and OK I guess someone has to do it – but I feel dead inside. I’m not helping anyone really, I’m not making a difference for the better in the world (which is common among Millennials I guess), so why am I trying so hard? That’s where Mark Manson has helped me. I need to sort out in my life what I should give a fuck about, and I need to bring back balance to the force. (Well maybe not that)

It’s time to stop rejecting the negative, time to stop feeling entitled, and time to sort out the fucks.

Want more Millennial context?

Check out this video. Simon Sinek really explains it better than anyone else I’ve ever heard talk about it. The guy is fucking sharp.

Thanks to Gioia @ My Crazy World of Books Blog for sharing this with me. Check out her blog!!



Check me out on my new social media platforms! I am trying to expand, grow, and meet more people! (If you are reading this after watching the video above – yes – I understand the hypocrisy/irony.)



111 comments on “The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F*ck

  1. Abdul Gani says:

    Amazing Book 🔥

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Nice review. I want to reread this because it seems like a book one would get something out of in different ways, depending on where one is in life.
    I am back in the States for the summer after being away for many months, and entitlement is the number one thing that stands. It isn’t like this everywhere.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Karen says:

    Love this article, Chaz, and the venn diagram. I’m not a Millenial, I’m a Gen Xer so I’m from the “whatever” cynical generation, but I can tell you it all does kind of “get better.” Patience and fortitude, friend. Cheers.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Mummy is Reading 📚 says:


      Liked by 1 person

  4. kwd says:

    Not a millennial (one of those BB’s who screwed everything up), but I know from years of stuffing the negative and feeling dead that it doesn’t work that way. When I deny the negative I deaden everything. When I don’t feel bad I don’t feel anything. The most important thing I can do is find what enlivens me and follow that thread. Thanks for reading.

    Liked by 5 people

  5. Thanks for the post and especially the video. Wow. He really nails it.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. The Poe Hound says:

    I saw this on the shelves of my bookstore and felt oddly offended then amused by the title. After read these reviews I have to give it a chance.

    Liked by 3 people

  7. tashabrynn says:

    As Gen-X, I can tell you that the feeling of comfortable, but empty applies to more than one generation. I believe it was Hemingway, who said (to paraphrase) that he never met an intelligent person, who was happy. I think he was being a little harsh, but there are definitely people out there, who never question their place in life, their reason for being, what the meaning of life is, and, then, there’s the people, who question all that and more.

    Liked by 3 people

  8. Forrest Pasky says:

    Great piece!

    Liked by 2 people

  9. I had this book listed on my ‘to buy books.’ I thought this was all about caring less about rumors and the like. After this, I learned there’s much to this book. I could really learn more from this after all. Great post! Thank you.

    Liked by 2 people

  10. I noticed you like my blog post of my ‘Book “Smokers Lit Journal Narrative” you can purchase your original copy from:

    Liked by 2 people

  11. GetaFix7 says:

    Pretty Cool ……

    But way way Behind, “Frankly, My Dear – I don’t give a Damn”

    Liked by 3 people

  12. Ryan Mitchell says:

    Excellent review!! I think many of us have been acclimated to a malevolent internal dialogue. This book certainly opened my eyes.

    A couple of recommendations for “self improvement” titles: As A Man Thinketh and How To Win Friends & Influence People.

    Liked by 2 people

  13. jodpurcell says:

    Nice post; thanks for the Venn diagram too.

    Liked by 2 people

  14. B🌹 says:

    Great post! I’ve been looking for a new self help book tailored to millennials. Thank you!

    Liked by 2 people

  15. Thank you for liking my blogs Chaz. I’ll start now following your blogs Chaz. Way cool Bro.

    Liked by 2 people

  16. Chaz, I’m done now reading slowly but surely this blog/article of yours from start to finish. Now is the first time that I read from start to finish your blog/article and I really find it worth my time and full attention. Thank you very much for writing this blog/article. Honestly, I’ll buy the book within one week because you read the it well and I’m also one of the people who are taking for granted the book although it’s recommended to me for so many times. Thank you Chaz. Thank you.

    Liked by 2 people

  17. JC Alvarez says:

    Great review! Very insightful.

    Liked by 2 people

  18. studyloverxo says:

    I really need to read this book, nice review

    Liked by 3 people

  19. Hajar Benmazhar says:

    Loved reading your thoughts on this one! Brilliant🌺

    Liked by 2 people

  20. Brandy says:

    Your posts are so thoroughly written and informative. Highly impressive 🙂 I love this one in particular

    Liked by 3 people

  21. Sia Billion says:

    I got this book today as well.. ✌

    Liked by 3 people

  22. I have not read this book yet, but I want to and will read it. I love this post.

    Liked by 3 people

  23. Anonymous says:

    Great post. Not a millennial, but as a mother one, I totally get it. Sadly, it’s like the horse has left the stable, so what do we do?

    Liked by 2 people

  24. Thank you for appreciating my article! It is a real pleasure! Your blog is really awesome, I’ve been astonished from the home page. I followed you and I can’t wait to read your articles! Keep it going! 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  25. Don’t really like the sound of this book. Sounds like a pretty typical self-help book to me – and I am not a fan of those! They treat everyone the same (or split them into a few neat segments), assume everyone reacts the same to problems, and only ever deal with the none serious issues in life. I think if asked to advise a ‘Millenial’ who said: “I’m drowning in debt, I’ve just lost my job and I’m about to be made homeless because I can’t pay the rent”. Their response would be: “Your problem is that you are ‘entitled’, just change your attitude and everything will be fine.”
    I hate them! But then perhaps they are not actually written for people with real life problems. If you are someone who just feels slightly dissatisfied perhaps reading this crap would distract you from your petty problems for a few hours. If you have real problems then reading this would probably be the final straw to making you top yourself!

    Liked by 1 person

  26. Gaurav Kulkarni says:

    I’ve been eyeing this book for a while now, might just buy it soon after reading your article.

    Liked by 2 people

  27. Interesting. We all try too hard and why do we bother unless it is something we care deeply about.

    Liked by 1 person

  28. Might need to purchase this book now, after reading your post! Interesting.

    Liked by 1 person

  29. SUCH a great review, Chaz! This book has been on the top of my TBR since I heard Mark Manson on the BRILLIANT IDIOTS podcast breaking his book down explaining his points. Have you seen it? If not, definitely find it on YouTube! You’ll LOVE it!


  30. Dean Speaks Out says:

    Well, young Chaz, I can see by the photos in your comments section that you are in need of some older, wiser voices who–not to put too fine a point on it–were already not giving a f*ck even before your parents weren’t giving one.

    Or words to that effect.

    Liked by 1 person

  31. sportochick says:

    I loved the book but haven’t had time to review it yet. Great review.


  32. Jee Wan says:

    Great review! Gotta love the title 🙂 Thanks for sharing!


  33. jenchaos76 says:

    I’m planning on reading this book. This article was enlightening.


  34. candysplanet says:

    Love the diagram! Mind if I share it? I’m a Baby Boomer and think I’ve been through all the subsets at one time or another in my life. My take is that it’s a journey, and I’ll continue moving through different subsets. The choice is mine when to move on.


  35. I almost wish you wish you hadn’t mentioned this book. Now, I’ve got to go out and read it. You did make a commend about an emptiness in millennial’s, but that’s in every generation. We have to find what we want to do, and not look to the right or the left on it, and put our heart and soul into.


  36. Meepingblog says:

    It’s been on my reading list for awhile but I never take the plunge .. meh


  37. Nice review! I’m familiar with Manson’s writing from his blog. The book sounds right up my alley because I’m all about self-help books (Maybe that’s why I have so many problems…).


  38. Nice review! I spent three days last week in a leadership course. The convenor focused on us reframing our experiences, no matter how negative, to ask ourselves ‘What’s great about this?’. I tried it at work yesterday with my boss and boss’ boss about a difficult task with a tight deadline. They started by laughing and shaking their heads at my naivete then came around to looking for the positives.

    Having said that, I am on a path of career reinvention for several reasons – redundancy being the main reason but I felt the way you described. I was successful, paid well, enjoyed a modest reputation globally for my expertise in that niche; but I wasn’t having fun anymore. When I told my senior Vice President over shisha and G&T that I wasn’t having fun he arranged my expatriate assignment to Norway. That was a great life experience but it was essentially the same no longer fun job with a different flavour and now pay. Interestingly, neither of us is working in any remotely similar field now.

    I’m in a contract role now in the social welfare sector, starting again, building subject matter expertise and trying to find ways to help Australia’s most vulnerable people. I haven’t found myself at the centre of that chart but I’ll try!

    Best wishes to you on your path to not giving a fuck and finding what’s great about this!


  39. I loved this because of how it was quite different to ‘normal’ self help books! Great review


  40. Hmm sounds interesting . (Hahah) the title sure is🙂


  41. This is pretty much exactly what I’ve been feeling lately, and that Venn diagram is just perfect. I’ve seen that book so many times and thought I should probably read that, off to Amazon right now. Thank you!

    Liked by 1 person

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